How to deal with your failure and bounce back?
The final year of the second millennium was approaching and many experts and software engineers across the world were frantically working to find a solution to the Y2K bug. People across the globe were concerned about a suspected failure in computer networks that the beginning of the year 2000 would bring with it and there was a kid totally unaware of what was happening around the world. He had his own problems to deal with: his new school, new mates, new subjects, and a new pair of un-cool spectacles which would slide down his nose, every now and then.
The kid used to love studying and was always focused on excelling in school. But lately, he had his encounter with failure. He had scored an aggregate of 68% in his term examinations. You would say, that’s not a failure! I agree! But for a kid who had always been scoring more than 98% throughout the years – that was more than a failure. He used to be a star of his town, everyone used to talk about him, but this time, it was different. This time his lack of achievement made him the point of discussion. He was ashamed of himself; he couldn’t face his friends, neighbours, relatives, parents, moreover, he was unable to face himself. He had lost all the self-confidence, he feared taking examinations, and he had started doubting himself. He was getting into an invisible shell. Slowly, he became silent, he became shy, he lacked confidence, and frustration & disappointment crept in. One so-called failure and this kid was pushed into oblivion.
What had happened to this kid is exactly what happens to any other sane human being. It may not just be a failure in academics; it could be a failure in career, failure in an entrepreneurial journey, failure in a relationship, failure in sports, or it could be a failure to meet our own expectations. Do you know what’s strange? Only 1% of people on this planet can come out of this situation. Those who do come out of this phase become successful and others live a life of misery. Why I am telling you this? Well! All of us have to deal with failure one day. No one can run away from it, and if you run away, you are already a LOSER.
You must have had a friend or a schoolmate who was not good at academics, who usually failed in most of the subjects, who was the most hopeless kid in the class, but currently is more successful than you are. There is a possibility that even you once believed that he/she was good for nothing, and still, that kid is doing well in life. Do you know why? This is because he had failed several times but he never considered himself a FAILURE.
I do have a memory of such a classmate who was pathetic in his studies. Above-average students usually avoided his company. But one day our class teacher made me his bench partner. Oh gosh! That seemed like a punishment. What if I too become a hopeless kid like he was? Well! That was the mentality of an 11-year-old me. It was surprising to note that he was never afraid of taking examinations even though he failed most of the times, he was not afraid of the scolding from our teachers, he just believed in enjoying the day.
One day, we went for our swimming class and our instructor asked us to jump into 12 feet pool and do our best to stay afloat. I was so scared, how would I be able to do this? What if I don’t come up, what if I drown? I didn’t even believe that the instructor would save me. Haha!! I thought of him as a psycho who wants to kill all the kids.
We were coming to terms with what our instructor had just said, and some kid jumped into the 12 ft pool from a podium which was at a height of 30 ft. There was a sudden splash, and all of us were awestruck. It was my bench partner. What? He could swim? I was not able to digest what I had seen. I considered him as a failure all the time, but he was a master of swimming, in which I surely failed. That kid has now grown into a very successful man, and I am grateful that I could learn the following 2 things by being his partner:
- You can’t succeed in life if you are afraid to fail, and
- You shouldn’t judge a bird by its inability to swim.
Being judgmental is altogether a different topic of discussion. In this article, we would be focusing on the power that lies behind failing.
Failure is the state or condition of not meeting a desired or intended objective. Well! That means, the moment you meet the desired goal, you become successful. Right? Exactly! I remember, my brother had failed eight times before he got inducted into the National Defence Force. He is an inspiration to all of us. But there is one secret which not many know, and i.e. he had attempted 10 times for the selection, eight times he failed, he got selected in the 9th attempt, but he again failed in the 10th attempt. Out of the 10 attempts, he met his desired objective only once, still, he is considered successful and not a failure.
So, what you need to understand is that you just have to cross the end line once and you would become successful. The count of your failure doesn’t matter to anyone. It is a barrier that you need to break. How? Well, I believe, there are four ways to deal with failure in life:
1. Face your fear and have the freedom to fail
Even before we fail, we are usually consumed by the fear of failure. Many of us won’t even take a shot just because we think we’d fail. You want to take your friend on a date, but you won’t even ask, coz you are afraid that he/she would decline your offer. I understand that feeling, but tell me what would happen even if you are declined? You can’t control what the other person feels for you. At least you won’t waste your time fearing the outcome. So, if you have a goal, you need to take your shot. Despite fearing the results, give yourself the freedom to fail. Do you know, the most successful organizations in Silicon Valley allow their employees to fail! Coz they know, that you can succeed only if you take the fear factor out of your system.
2. Accept your failure
I have seen many people, who fail in executing their plans and make lame excuses or blame the surroundings for having failed. We all know the excuses that we make. Does blaming others make you solve the problem and become successful? Never! Accept that you failed! Until and unless you accept your failure or your mistake, you cannot improve upon it. Blaming is easy and accepting your mistake is pretty tough. But then who said that being successful was easy.
3. Learn from your failure
When you are ready to face your fear and accept your failures only then you would understand what went wrong, only then you would know where to improve, and only then you would know what not to do the next time. If that kid about whom I talked about in the beginning had accepted his failure and tried to learn from his mistakes, it would have been a different scenario for him. Always remember, even if you are the best, you can’t run away from failures. We are humans; we are bound to make mistakes.
4. Grow from your Failure
As I have explained in detail, the most important thing in life is ‘personal growth’. You grow in life when you learn and improve upon your mistakes. Never allow your failures to push you back. Always grow from it. Always remember that you don’t learn to walk by following the rules. You learn by doing and falling over.
Never think that you can avoid failure and be successful in life. If you are not making mistakes then you are playing too safe. Keep in mind that you cannot bounce back until you hit the floor. What are you afraid of? What society would think, if I fail? Do you remember the Superball a.k.a Crazy ball which used to bounce in some weird fashion whenever it hits the wall or the floor? The weirdest thing that it does is to bounce back to almost the same height from which it was dropped and keeps on doing it again and again until it is stopped. And we call it ‘Crazy’. Funny! But this is exactly how society reacts: when you try to bounce back, people would call you ‘crazy’. Who cares? Focus on learning something new with every bounce that you make. Life is all about discovering, exploring, experimenting, taking risks, making mistakes and having fun. Just go for it. Fail dozens of times, fail forward and don’t become a FAILURE.
May 16, 2021 @ 7:09 pm
Something everyone needs to hear and implement! So well worded👍🏾
May 16, 2021 @ 8:08 pm
Thank you 🙂
May 16, 2021 @ 7:13 pm
Failure may occurs at any situation. Accepting the failure makes a person to grow in his life or career.
May 16, 2021 @ 8:08 pm
Certainly 🙂
May 16, 2021 @ 7:15 pm
This is the best guide to reach the pinnacle of success while walking on the path of failure.
with warm regards.
May 16, 2021 @ 8:08 pm
Thank you 🙂
May 16, 2021 @ 7:26 pm
It’s feels like the situation I am facing now.
Really nice
Thanks for motivation
May 16, 2021 @ 8:07 pm
Much obliged 🙂
Will try to keep on motivating.
May 16, 2021 @ 8:02 pm
Awesome ! Keep up the good work buddy
May 16, 2021 @ 8:58 pm
Thank you! 🙂
May 17, 2021 @ 8:02 am
True, learn from failure. Nice writting
May 21, 2021 @ 9:52 am
Thank you 🙂
May 17, 2021 @ 7:15 pm
Good one!!! Clearly explained about the reality in the journey of life, which most people fails to accept 🙂
May 17, 2021 @ 8:05 pm
Nice one!! Yes it is correct that we should learn many things from failure to reach our goal.
May 17, 2021 @ 8:42 pm
Much needed.
Aptly put
May 18, 2021 @ 12:31 am
Very well worded. Thank you for raising such unique yet relatable topics!
May 21, 2021 @ 9:52 am
Thanks. Many more to come. Keep reading! 🙂
May 18, 2021 @ 11:17 am
Good one!
“Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.” – Albert Einstein
May 21, 2021 @ 8:07 pm
Awesome nd true. Failure is a stepping stone to learn many things.
September 16, 2021 @ 11:07 am
It’s true, We need to learn from our failure. Thanks for this motivation. It’s really gives inspiration. 😇
August 4, 2022 @ 9:26 am
Future essay ..
September 13, 2022 @ 4:10 pm
This is the right website for anyone who wishes to find out about this topic.
You know so much its almost hard to argue with you (not
that I personally would want to…HaHa). You definitely put a fresh spin on a topic that’s been written about for many years.
Great stuff, just wonderful!
October 16, 2022 @ 5:19 am
Hello! This is my first visit to your blog! We are a group of volunteers and
starting a new project in a community in the same niche. Your blog provided us valuable
information to work on. You have done a
wonderful job!